Are you torn? Do you want to win back your ex, or is it time you begin a new chapter in your life? Wouldn't it be great if really were that easy? But giving up someone who has occupied a huge space in your heart and life isn't has simple as making a logical decision. If it were, there would be no Dr. Phil in the world. But, with a little consideration, you make the decision easier for yourself, and if you're thinking of opening a new chapter in your life, I ask you follow these five easy steps:
*Decision Time: Make One and Stand Tall in the Saddle with it
You've made a decision and fired the big torpedo, and once the bomb has left the hanger, there's no turning back. You now going to fritter time in wasteful emotion? Are you going to be big kid about it or sit and cry, lamenting the past? Which is more productive and better for you and your future? Just remember: if it was really working, you wouldn't be where you are.
*Don't bottle up your emotions
I can't emphasize this enough: do not run from your suffering. It's going to track you down anyway. Invite it in. Let it sit a while. Make friends with it. Just like most of us, it just wants to be seen and recognized. Once this is done, it is much more likely to leave on its own. Wouldn't it be much better without all the histrionics?
*Perform an act of Symbolism to acknowledge it's over
This can be anything. Set fire to the old love letters. Tear up the 8 x 10 of 'ol' what's their name' that sits near your fireplace. Trash the stuffed dog you both bought at the Fair. Just perform some act and say, "This is symbolic of our ending." It'll go a long way to helping finalize your decision. Don't get lost in fits of rage here. This is a good thing, remember? You've made a decision that's in the best interest of a happy future for yourself. Don't lose sight of that fact.
*Seek Out Old Friends
Kurt Vonnegut had a great line: "Love comes and goes, but courtesy lasts forever." Your friends are your courtesy. They sometimes know you better than you know yourself. Dial them up. Let them know how much they mean to you. Don't get sappy here, but reaching out is a good thing.
*Who's the Most Important Person in Your Life?
Drinking Long Island Iced Teas and watching "They Way We Were" a thousand times isn't going to cut it. Neither is stuffing yourself with chocolate and potatoes. Be well. Think well of yourself. Treat your body with respect. Get out and walk regularly or take up jogging or aerobics. You stand a much better chance of engaging a new interest in your life if you're engaged, as simple as it sounds.
In sum: do you really want to win back your ex, or has the ship really sailed? Only you know the answer to that, and you know it better than anyone can ever tell you. There isn't a thing being thrown at you now that you can't handle. You're adult, fully capable of making adult decisions. The past is prologue. What you make of your life, right now, is truly up to you.
*Decision Time: Make One and Stand Tall in the Saddle with it
You've made a decision and fired the big torpedo, and once the bomb has left the hanger, there's no turning back. You now going to fritter time in wasteful emotion? Are you going to be big kid about it or sit and cry, lamenting the past? Which is more productive and better for you and your future? Just remember: if it was really working, you wouldn't be where you are.
*Don't bottle up your emotions
I can't emphasize this enough: do not run from your suffering. It's going to track you down anyway. Invite it in. Let it sit a while. Make friends with it. Just like most of us, it just wants to be seen and recognized. Once this is done, it is much more likely to leave on its own. Wouldn't it be much better without all the histrionics?
*Perform an act of Symbolism to acknowledge it's over
This can be anything. Set fire to the old love letters. Tear up the 8 x 10 of 'ol' what's their name' that sits near your fireplace. Trash the stuffed dog you both bought at the Fair. Just perform some act and say, "This is symbolic of our ending." It'll go a long way to helping finalize your decision. Don't get lost in fits of rage here. This is a good thing, remember? You've made a decision that's in the best interest of a happy future for yourself. Don't lose sight of that fact.
*Seek Out Old Friends
Kurt Vonnegut had a great line: "Love comes and goes, but courtesy lasts forever." Your friends are your courtesy. They sometimes know you better than you know yourself. Dial them up. Let them know how much they mean to you. Don't get sappy here, but reaching out is a good thing.
*Who's the Most Important Person in Your Life?
Drinking Long Island Iced Teas and watching "They Way We Were" a thousand times isn't going to cut it. Neither is stuffing yourself with chocolate and potatoes. Be well. Think well of yourself. Treat your body with respect. Get out and walk regularly or take up jogging or aerobics. You stand a much better chance of engaging a new interest in your life if you're engaged, as simple as it sounds.
In sum: do you really want to win back your ex, or has the ship really sailed? Only you know the answer to that, and you know it better than anyone can ever tell you. There isn't a thing being thrown at you now that you can't handle. You're adult, fully capable of making adult decisions. The past is prologue. What you make of your life, right now, is truly up to you.
About the Author:
Want to learn more about Surviving Infidelity, then visit Stan J. Van Sant's site and get his free 35 page ebook "The 7 Telltale Signs of a Truly Reformed Cheater" - just go to Win Back Your Ex
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