Saturday, October 31, 2009

Is He Really Talking to His Mom 3 Hours a Day? Find out with a Reverse Cell Look Up

By Anna Crane

There are not a lot of good ways to prevent cheating; some people are mentally capable of betrayal while others are not. Even if you can't prevent it, you must be able to discover when it occurs with things like a reverse cell lookup. Infidelity is a horrible thing in a relationship. It happens more often than most people are willing to acknowledge.

How far should you go to reveal your partner's infidelity? That is your decision. But make no mistake, you will need more than an accusation to get answers from a cheating spouse. You will need to uncover loads of evidence against them or else they will just continue their charade with everyone involved.

Don't live the life of a paranoid and suspicious person. Find out if your worst fears are true by investigating your husband's cell phone records. You can find out a lot about how he spends his days with his cell records. These days it is very hard not to leave a trail when we do anything. Unless your husband has a different phone line for his affair, you can find out whom he's really talking to.

You don't need to hire a private investigator to keep tabs on your husband's phone calls, and you don't have to stake out his office by spying. Your search of his cell phone activities will reveal anything suspicious.

For most situations, the truth can be found in credit card receipts and cell phone records. If you suspect your spouse or partner of cheating, a simple search of his cell phone records is an easy way to get a good idea of who he is interacting with on a daily basis. If the number doesn't have a name assigned to it on his cell phone, a reverse cell lookup will tell you whose name the phone is listed under.

These days it's almost impossible to truly hide anything. Between the internet and cell phones, there is a record of how we spend almost every minute of our day. You can find out exactly who he is speaking with and for how long. Get her name and address before you confront him, otherwise it will be easy for him to deny.

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Trapping A Deceitful Partner With The Use Of Reverse Mobile Lookup

By Marc Marseille

Do you suspect your significant other of sneaking around? Attempting to figure out if your partner is corrupt used to be almost impracticable. Things have changed severely with the advance of technology.

It used to be that nabbing a deceitful spouse lead you in circles. Attempting to make common sense of all the deceit and ruse was quite a chore.

Today, it has become much easier to unearth information. If you can get your hands on a mobile phone number, you can effortlessly locate any information you seek by performing a reverse cellular phone search.

A reverse number lookup can trace any cellular phone number such as cellular numbers, home numbers, and non published numbers. These lookups can divulge detailed data on background, address, and even relatives info. You can also do unlimited searches depending on the package you prefer.

With a reverse phone number search, the only item you will need is to get your hands on some numbers that you think may be skeptical. You can can get your hands on your partner private phone numbers by using your phone service supplier.

The first step is to make sure that your phone service is equipped to refuse restricted calls. This will make every single cell phone call available with a mobile phone number to be scrutinized.

Another way to get your hand on unidentified mobile phone numbers is by searching cell phone bills. You can do a reverse mobile phone lookup on any phone number you do not recognize. The outcome may amaze you.

Lastly, you can lookup the actual cell cellular phone for recent phone calls or calls received at strange times of the night. These cell phone calls have the potential to lead you directly to the source.

The solution to nabbing a deceitful partner can effortlessly achieved by searching a phone a number. The hard part will be attempting to get over the hurt brought upon by your partner's deception.

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Ways To Recover From An Affair

By Parker U. Mcpike

While most extramarital affairs end up in court houses and eventually in divorce, there are couples who still prefer to slove the problem, together. Healing infidelity is hard; sometimes, it takes time and too much emotional stress to get back at least to an acceptable marital status. Surviving an affair may even not succeed at all. But, those who made it to the end provide good lessons to those who are just beginning to heal the wounds.

1. Assure your partner that you will no longer do it again. Yes, this is the first thing you have to do. Take note that your partner has a lot of doubts on you, so if you want everything fixed, everything must be stopped from meeting, sex, dinner, phone calls, emails, to texting. Cut all the lines, period.

2. Do not rush to forgiveness. Forgiveness and healing the wounds caused by an infidel partner is not easy to forget. Your partner is still in heavy pain, expect that it will take time before he or she can forgive.

3. Take accountability. Putting all the blame to your spouse will not do anything good. If you want to forvige your partner, it is now time to listen. If you are the guilty party, accept the responsibility and constantly tell your partner that you will not commit the same mistake again.

4. Tell your partner what he needs to know. The healing process is much easier when the adulterous partner spouse answers all the questions requested by his or her betrayed partner.

If you have been secretive all your life, now is the time to end it. Your partner will better forgive you if you don't hide anything to him or her anymore.

5. Submit yourself to your spouse, without any reserve. Whether you are the betrayed partner, you have a better chance of rebuilding your relationship when you submit yourself completely and promise not to have an affair again. When rebuilding your relationship, have the time to listen to your partner even if it takes a while.

6. Don't forgive your partner right away. Saving your marriage involves forgiving your adulterous partner, but forgiveness must still be earned. Take the necessary pain first, then begin rebuilding the damaged relationship. Forgive after you have overcome the pain.

7. Seek help from the people you trust. Reconnect with relatives and friends who can help you survive and help you feel less isolated.

8. Do something else other than talking about the affair. Spend time with your relatives and partner and do activities you both once enjoyed.

9. Accept the fact that the process is painful.

Surviving an affair is not very easy; it often invovles rage, pain and tears.Ready yourself to experience them all.

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Why Women Cheat

By Ellie . Angotti

Men are polygamous, that's what we have always accepted. So whenever we hear news about an infidel husband, we are not so interested about it anymore. But when a wife cheats, she becomes an instant celebrity and leaves a big mark in the society that remains throughout her lifetime. Still, the question still remains: why women cheat.

Passion is no longer there

Not too long ago, you were rocking her world, now, the only thing that is being rocked are the kids to sleep. Women who live in a monotonous lifestyle can get tired too quickly. If you say the same thing, give the same gifts, make love the same way, and go out on the same date at the same place, do not be surprised if you find your woman looking for something else. Like men, women need attention in life, so if her partner is unable to give it to her, the only way to be happy is to look for someone whom she can share her happiness.

To take revenge

Whether you believe in karma or not, if cheating to your woman one too many times, expect that revenge is on its way. Because you cheated, she wants to get back on you and give you a dose of your own medicine.

You lack intimacy From the outside, your life may seem so good: you have 3 cars, a large house, and great kids running around the yard, but deep inside, you might be lacking the most important things-the ability to keep your woman feel she is worthy. Cuddling, kissing, hugging and making love should still be part of being a married couple, especially if you already feel that you can live without them. Women need to be touched, but if you can't give the physical affection she needs, she may get it somewhere else

Bedtime is just for sleeptime Same place, same position, same setting; if you allow sex to be this way, it will become boring. Constantly reinvent your relationship at bed. Do not allow your wife to seek somewhere else, especially when the responsibility of taking care of the kids becomes your top priority and sleep is more important than sex.

She deserves someone nicer than you Marriage does not give you the right to treat her as your property. Ignoring her, being critical to her, and letting her feel she is unappreciated give her a lot of reason to give her attention to someone else. Women demand attention and need a person who makes them feel they are special so if you can't be that person, then your wife will more likely cheat.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Using A Reverse Phone Check To Catch A Cheating Spouse

By Greg Capes

Want to know if a reverse phone check can help you???

Have you ever noticed your spouse tends to end a phone conversation the minute you walk into the room? Do you sometimes answer your landline phone only to find that the caller immediately hangs up when they hear your voice? Even though none of us like to think about it, cheating is something which is very commonplace nowadays, and if you've noticed a few things which end up making you suspicious, then you owe it to yourself to find out if something is going on. Obviously, if your spouse is cheating, they certainly won't want to supply you with any details, and as such, you should seriously consider using the services of a reverse phone check directory.

In the first place, you will find that you can get the number that has been calling fairly easily. It might be worth investigating a caller ID service on your phone for a little while. On the other hand, if your significant other is someone who uses a cell, simply pop it open and see where the last calls have been from. One thing that you should do is look into the reverse phone check directory; the names that are entered in his address book might be the real names, and the number that you pick up is going to be much more important for identification purposes.

Once you've managed to obtain the number you can then go online in order to do a search. In some cases, a simple Google search may be able to provide you with the information you require. However, this is not often the case, in which case you'll need to make use of a reverse phone check directory, which for the most part are very similar to a regular type of phonebook. The main difference of course, is that rather than having to enter a person's name, you simply enter the phone number. Once you've entered the number you'll be provided with all of the relevant information pertaining to that number, such as the name and address of the person to the number has been registered. Even though this amount of information is usually sufficient, you need to bear in mind that it is possible to obtain additional information as well.

Ideally, when you're searching for a reputable reverse phone check directory, you should make a point of looking for one which is capable as providing you with as much information as possible. For this reason, you need to take your time in order to consider what your various options are. For example, you could of course choose to use one of the free services which are available, or you could choose one of the membership services instead. Remember however, as with everything in life, you'll get what you pay for, and that's why it's advisable to use one of the pay sites rather than a free site. Bear in mind that the membership sites can also provide you with further information regarding the number you entered, such as the names of anyone else living in the same household, and even the type of phone which was used to call you.

Very few experiences are as heart wrenching as finding out that your spouse has been cheating on you, but then again, who in their right mind would want to go on without ever really knowing for sure. Are you willing to continue with a relationship which is based primarily on suspicion?

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Reverse Mobile Search: A Cheaters Nightmare

By Marc Marseille

Is your spouse cheating on you? It use to be hard to get answers to that question. Technology has now made it easier to nab your cheating spouse in the act.

In the past trying to catch a cheating spouse was not a simple task. First you had to establish the fact that they were actually cheating. Then you had to try to decipher all the lies.

The internet has made a lot more easier to find whatever you seek. The only tool you will need is a reverse number search to locate someone by their phone number.

A reverse number search can trace any phone number such as mobile numbers, land line numbers, and unlisted numbers. These searches can reveal detailed information on background, address, and even relatives information. You can also do unlimited searches depending on the package you choose.

The next step is getting your hands on the phone numbers of your cheating spouse's phone calls. There are several options when it comes to finding phone numbers to search. The key is to use the resources that are provided by your phone provider.

It is a good idea to make sure that your home phone service is set to not accept anonymous phone calls from blocked numbers. This feature will make all incoming phone numbers visible.

A great source of numbers to search can be obtain by searching cell phone or home phone bills. Any telephone number that looks suspicious can be traced in the reverse phone directory. You may be surprised at the information that is available.

Lastly, you can search the actual cell phone for recent phone calls or calls received at unusual times of the night. These phone calls have the potential to lead you straight to the source.

A reverse phone number search can make the solution of of how to catch a cheating spouse rather simple. The tough part will be trying to recover from being deceive.

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Friday, October 16, 2009

Love And Relationship: Surviving Adultery

By Mara L. Biggart

Surviving adultery is the kind of topic that is not always pleasant to discuss. However, it is crucial that both parties must know the ways to overcome this challenge as it holds the future of your relationship as husband and wife.

The truth is, to survive adultery is to trust your partner again; and more often than not, it is not the easiest thing to do. Still, we have to give couple a chance to rebuild their relationship after adultery.

Give yourself time to grief Much like the death of a loved one, going through the aftermath of adultery is very, very hard to accept. It is important, therefore, to allow yourself to grief. You have received a terrible blow from your partner, do not let others speak to you and tell you it is okay. It is normal not to be as lighthearted as you were before. You have been hurt and it is normal to feel pain.

The F-Word~Forgiveness~Forgive There is no excuse for adultery, but the offended spouse should not be blamed. Always remember that at some point, you are at fault why your partner committed an affair. Go over about your contribution to the problem, repent and make a commitment to change. Once you are prepared to hear your partner, sit down, talk and ask questions regarding the issues at hand. Answer the questions accurately, if you are the one who is being asked. If you are working out to redirect your marriage to the right path, cut all the communications with the third party and give promise that you will not commit infidelity again.

Do not close your doors for a second chance If both parties are willing to forgive and willing to change to make the marriage work one more time, it is possible to get back on the right track. Surviving adultery may not be the stage in marriage you are willing to take, but if it happens, there is always a big chance to succeed.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Your Marriage May Have Troubles

By Katie Cheung

Many people desire a happy marriage. However, a sweet marriage required large sum of work. In fact, there are many characteristics showing that you may be suffering from an unhappy marriage. In this article, I will tell you some of these characteristics. If you find that your partner is described below, you may have a failing marriage.

Disagreements between couples are often occurred and it is an indication of an unblissful marriage. Humiliations and the use of swear words are undeniably hurting each other. Sometimes, violence may even occur and this is undoubtedly affecting the children's personal growth.

Lack of communication is an indication of an unblissful marriage. Sharing of thoughts and emotional feelings are vital for maintaining a good relationship. Couples happen to use excuses to stop discussing any important matters with their partners and detach from them.

Furthermore, many couples will become secretive about their affairs when they face problems in their marriages. They may have secret phone conversations, or switch off phones immediately when they suddenly see their partners. When your partner don't share their hopes or dreams with you, you need to aware of it. It's because a happy couple will talk about their plans for future with each other.

If you find out that your partner would like to spend more time with friends rather than you, it means that there are problems in your marriage. Moreover, your partner may even do anything in order to escape from you. Long working hours, staying alone with friends and prevent attending any parties are some indications of a dissatisfied marriage. Escapism is often recognized if one often behaves in that one.

Hugs, Kiss or praising are some essential elements in a marriage. If either of couples fail to show these love affections, this symbolizes that you have to do something to ignite the sparks. Comparison with others, showing appreciation to others are something that a spouse would do. Intimacy is crucial in a marriage and it is an indication of emotional connection. Lacking intimacy in a marriage is an indication of dissatisfaction.

Fornication or being unfaithful to your mate shows that your marriage is fail. Bear in mind that when trust is gone, it will not come back easily. Thus, it is difficult to rescue your love is these bad thing happen. A cheating husband or wife is also another sign of unhappy marriage. If your spouse changes the look suddenly, receiving private phone calls, spending a lot, or always stay away form home, he or she must be a disloyal one.

Many couples have unrealistic expectations of each other, as well as being dissatisfied. This will make the marriage becomes an unhappy one. There are also examples of the couples began to lose interest with each too.

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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Emotional Infidelity - What It Is and What To Do About It!

By Elizabeth Fitz

Emotional infidelity is almost always the first step on the road to cheating, and may well be considered cheating its own right. There is far more to a relationship than just have a physical relationship with only one person and one person only. The truly satisfying and meaningful part of a relationship is the bond you share with the other person.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it's a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

When your significant other begins to form those emotional and mental bonds with someone outside the marriage, this is what is called emotional infidelity. It nearly always means there is a withdrawing from the first relationship.

Whereas before, you were your significant other's best friend, you knew their secrets, their little quirks - now you feel like you are just an acquaintance in your relationship. This cold-shoulder treatment is horrible, very hard to deal with, and hard to watch happening. You often feel like it is you who is doing something wrong, that you are the one with the problem.

Emotional infidelity means forming bonds, the bonds that were previously with you, with someone else. This is part of what makes it difficult to identify. There is nothing obvious going on, no sleeping with another person, no sneaking off to see someone else. This is why emotional infidelity is difficult to prove, there can be little or no evidence.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.

This is perhaps the key to keep in mind if you do suspect emotional infidelity. If your partner has friends of the opposite sex, that they are close to, that is not necessarily emotional infidelity. Everyone has friends, best buddies, girlfriends. Some people have friends of a different gender, and they may confide in them many details of their lives.

This isn't emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they're hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem on it's own, but it can be one of the early signs of a relationship really turning sour. Emotional infidelity frequently does lead to physical infidelity. If you recognise emotional infidelity then you may be able to nip it in the bud at this early stage - it is always easier, the earlier you catch it.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distant or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

Emotional infidelity is best caught as early as possible in order to have a good chance at fixing it. It is not easy but if you feel there could be emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to get advice as soon as possible, and instruction on how to fix your relationship.

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Friday, October 2, 2009

Emotional Infidelity What It Is And How To Recognize It

By Elizabeth Fitz

Emotional infidelity is almost always the first step on the road to cheating, and may well be considered cheating its own right. There is far more to a relationship than just have a physical relationship with only one person and one person only. The truly satisfying and meaningful part of a relationship is the bond you share with the other person.

The emotional part of a relationship goes deep inside and forms a strong connection, which is why emotional infidelity is so devastating. The bond goes far beyond the physical aspects, it is what makes a relationship a relationship. It is about sharing thoughts and feelings, sharing your soul with one another.

Emotional infidelity is when your significant other begins to form those same kinds of bonds with another person. This almost always goes along with withdrawing from the original relationship.

You end up being a stranger in your own relationship rather than your partners friend and confidant. This coldness can be awful to deal with, and may even be hard to define. You may feel that you are the one at fault.

Emotional infidelity means forming bonds, the bonds that were previously with you, with someone else. This is part of what makes it difficult to identify. There is nothing obvious going on, no sleeping with another person, no sneaking off to see someone else. This is why emotional infidelity is difficult to prove, there can be little or no evidence.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.

This is perhaps the key to keep in mind if you do suspect emotional infidelity. If your partner has friends of the opposite sex, that they are close to, that is not necessarily emotional infidelity. Everyone has friends, best buddies, girlfriends. Some people have friends of a different gender, and they may confide in them many details of their lives.

None of that is necessarily emotional infidelity. With emotional infidelity, the one huge sign is guilt. The red flag that someone is becoming involved with another person emotionally is when they start to try and hide what is going on. No-one who is innocently chatting with a friend needs to hide what is going on from their significant other. When they are hiding something you can safely assume that there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem in and of itself, but it tends to be one of the early signs of a relationship going bad. The next step is usually physical infidelity, and this is almost always preceded by emotional infidelity. If you can recognize and do something about emotional infidelity, you may have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.

Emotional disengagement and secretive behaviour are enormous signs that there is emotional infidelity. Acting suspiciously, hiding calls, texts on their cell phones and emails - even avoiding questions and generally acting like they have a secret, are all signs that you should be aware of.

You need to catch emotional infidelity in its early stages an fix it. This can be tough to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out and advice and instruction on how to fix your relationship.

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Emotional Infidelity - How To Detect It, What To Do Next

By Elizabeth Fitz

Well known as the first step on the road to cheating, emotional infidelity may well be considered cheating in it's own right. We are all aware that there is much more to a relationship than the physical aspects which are shared with one person and one person only. The meaningful part of a relationship which satisfies emotionally is the bond you share with the other person.

The emotional connection makes up a huge part of a couples relationship, and this is exactly why emotional infidelity is so soul-destroying. A relationship is about sharing emotionally and mentally with feelings and thoughts; in fact sharing your soul with another person.

When your significant other begins to form those emotional and mental bonds with someone outside the marriage, this is what is called emotional infidelity. It nearly always means there is a withdrawing from the first relationship.

You go from being your significant other's friend and confidant to being a stranger in your own relationship. This freezing out can be difficult to deal with, and may be hard to see. You may feel that the problem is on your end and that you are the one doing something wrong.

At the same time, emotional infidelity involves the other person forming bonds with another person outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about emotional infidelity is that it can be difficult to define and identify. Because there is nothing as obvious as sleeping with another person going on, saying for certain that it is going on is trickier to prove.

One very valid sign is a sort of sexual chemistry between the two people involved, with a great deal of flirting and teasing going on. It may seem they are just having a joke, no big deal, but emotional infidelity will make the person behave in a more secretive manner.

If you do suspect emotional infidelity, you need to keep some things in mind. Many people have close friends, best buddies if they are a man, and girlfriends if they are a woman. Some people have friends of the opposite sex, and they may confide in them frequently.

None of that is necessarily emotional infidelity. With emotional infidelity, the one huge sign is guilt. The red flag that someone is becoming involved with another person emotionally is when they start to try and hide what is going on. No-one who is innocently chatting with a friend needs to hide what is going on from their significant other. When they are hiding something you can safely assume that there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem in and of itself, but it tends to be one of the early signs of a relationship going bad. The next step is usually physical infidelity, and this is almost always preceded by emotional infidelity. If you can recognize and do something about emotional infidelity, you may have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.

So, the big signs are emotional distancing from the significant other, and hiding things, secretive behaviour. If your partner is pulling away from you, becoming elusive and irritable, this should set alarm bells off in your head. If they are hiding phone calls, emails, avoiding questions and behaving jumpy, this is a real sign.

You need to catch emotional infidelity in its early stages an fix it. This can be tough to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out and advice and instruction on how to fix your relationship.

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Find Out if Your Spouse is Cheating with Spy Software

By Mark Pearson

I know it's hard to believe, but there are people out there the use the computer to cheat on their partner. A person can use a computer to cheat by setting up dates with their lover in person or by cyber cheating. No matter which way it is, if your partner is hiding it, then it is definitely cheating.

They might put up a fake profile and tell unsuspecting suitors that they're single or at least are not attached, and since they're making that part up, they're probably making up other details on the profile. The profile would most likely leave most of their friends wondering who exactly they are trying to be.

They might be e-mailing or instant messaging other people with the intent of "hooking up" with them, even though they already have a partner who expects them to be trustworthy. Or, they might have set up accounts on social networking sites such as Twitter, MySpace or Facebook to look for potential one night stands.

In fact, they could be working on setting a a face to face meet with their "cyber-buddy" in order to take the relationship to the next level. They may not be thinking about, or even care, how unsafe this could be for everyone involved.

Alternately, you might suspect your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse of being involved in, even actively participating in, online X-rated websites or activities to the point that it's hurting your relationship.

If you suspect your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is caught up in any of this, then it's reasonable that you might want to investigate how they're spending time online. That's where a secret keylogger program can help you.

With these programs every keystroke and every website typed in will be automatically logged and tracked for your records.

So for instance, should your partner type something inappropriate to the person he or she is cheating with, everything that they say will instantly be recorded into a hidden file that you can access at a later time. It works very well for letting you in on the reality of a situation, even if in the end it causes you distress.

You can find any number of keylogger software programs online today, some of which are free. These programs are set up in a way that they run should run invisibly in the background and record every keystroke that is made. They save these results in a log that can later be accessed and read.

Make sure you are aware that antivirus and spyware programs are able to detect lots of keystroke logging software programs, which renders them useless if the computer user notices and takes action when they see warnings.

This makes it vital that the secret keylogger program that you choose has a strong stealth ability, so that it is overlooked by antivirus/spyware programs. If it is not very stealth, it may be discovered and blocked by your partner. This leaves you right back where you started, wondering if your partner is, in fact, cheating on you.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Getting Over An Affair - How To Build Trust After Infidelity

By Carrie Bradford

You've cheated, and you're wrecked with guilt...and trying to salvage the broken pieces of your relationship. This article will help you learn how to build trust after infidelity (yes, it's possible), so both you and your partner can start getting over an affair and move forward together.

This isn't just talk -- it's from experience. I cheated on my husband and he forgave me...and we've been stronger ever since.

You didn't stray for no reason. Something about your relationship was causing you to feel uneasy, unfulfilled. Once you know what that was, you can start to fix things.

Why did you cheat with this specific person? Did they seem mysterious or more adventurous than your partner? Maybe they showered you with attention, or said certain things you've been wanting to hear from your current mate. Whatever it was, it's a red flag that your relationship is lacking in these things.

An affair is a symptom of an underlying problem in the relationship. It's not THE problem.

If you want to restore trust, you need to correct the issues in your relationship. Sometimes, counselling can help.

But just identifying the problem isn't enough. You have to take definite actions to fix those problems.

When restoring trust, actions speak louder than words. Talking is good...but doing the right things is better.

Small promises that you keep will go a long way to rebuilding trust. Your partner needs to regain confidence in you. Little things like taking out the trash every night, or being on time will help them learn to see you as trustworthy again...far more than grand gestures will.

Whatever you do, don't argue. Your mate needs reassurance, and needs to express their feelings. This means that you will be taking the brunt of it all...and you're going to have to do it with patience and understanding. Accept their anger and sorrow, apologize as often as you need to, and above all be patient and humble.

However, this doesn't mean you have to be the bad guy forever. If you let your partner guilt trip you, the relationship you're rebuilding will remain on shaky ground. If you need to defend yourself, do so gently and with compassion.

Finally, you need to find the silver lining. Discuss the affair as a chance for the both of you to improve your relationship and grow together as a couple. In my case, my husband and I both realized that we had some destructive attitudes toward relationships in general, and me cheating brought them to light. We learned from the experience and are the better for it.

Getting over an affair and rebuilding trust takes some time. You'll need to be honest with yourself and with your partner, and take action to fix things. But if you do it right, you'll end up a stronger couple for it.

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