Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Emotional Infidelity - What It Is and What To Do About It!

By Elizabeth Fitz

Emotional infidelity is almost always the first step on the road to cheating, and may well be considered cheating its own right. There is far more to a relationship than just have a physical relationship with only one person and one person only. The truly satisfying and meaningful part of a relationship is the bond you share with the other person.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it's a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

When your significant other begins to form those emotional and mental bonds with someone outside the marriage, this is what is called emotional infidelity. It nearly always means there is a withdrawing from the first relationship.

Whereas before, you were your significant other's best friend, you knew their secrets, their little quirks - now you feel like you are just an acquaintance in your relationship. This cold-shoulder treatment is horrible, very hard to deal with, and hard to watch happening. You often feel like it is you who is doing something wrong, that you are the one with the problem.

Emotional infidelity means forming bonds, the bonds that were previously with you, with someone else. This is part of what makes it difficult to identify. There is nothing obvious going on, no sleeping with another person, no sneaking off to see someone else. This is why emotional infidelity is difficult to prove, there can be little or no evidence.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.

This is perhaps the key to keep in mind if you do suspect emotional infidelity. If your partner has friends of the opposite sex, that they are close to, that is not necessarily emotional infidelity. Everyone has friends, best buddies, girlfriends. Some people have friends of a different gender, and they may confide in them many details of their lives.

This isn't emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they're hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem on it's own, but it can be one of the early signs of a relationship really turning sour. Emotional infidelity frequently does lead to physical infidelity. If you recognise emotional infidelity then you may be able to nip it in the bud at this early stage - it is always easier, the earlier you catch it.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distant or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

Emotional infidelity is best caught as early as possible in order to have a good chance at fixing it. It is not easy but if you feel there could be emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to get advice as soon as possible, and instruction on how to fix your relationship.

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1 comment:

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