Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Can You Recover From Infidelity In Relationships?

By Nicole Thomas

Infidelity in relationships is on the rise. More couples are dealing with the fallout from cheating than many other serious relationship issues. There are plenty of men and women who feel that infidelity in relationships is an automatic way to end the relationship altogether.

It's not uncommon for the faithful partner to spend a great deal of time questioning themselves. If your partner has cheated on you it is quite possible that you are wondering if you did something to cause the infidelity. You might even feel as though you can't trust your own ability to select the right person to be with. Sometimes the faithful partner decides to take on half the blame because they feel if they were taking care of business at home that there wouldn't have been a need for infidelity.

There are many causes for infidelity in relationships. Sure, we could all learn to be better partners and we could all learn a better way to balance out our lives. However, even if you are not the world's greatest partner is no reason to take responsibility for someone else's behavior.

If you want to move past the infidelity in relationships you need to start by being really honest first with yourself and then with your partner. Are you going to need a trial period? Are you going to be able to let it go or are you going to be bringing it up for the next five to ten years every time you are in an argument? Are you going to resent the relationship over time if things don't turn out the way you want them to?

It can be very difficult to weed through your feelings when it comes to infidelity. You may feel hurt, angry, guilty, confused, and even maybe like the whole world just doesn't make any sense. You may cycle through a wide range of feelings and you might not even be sure that you want to end the relationship.

Anyone can cheat. It doesn't mean that the cheating partner doesn't love you. It just means that they made a choice to do something that would please them and not please you. You are just as capable of cheating as your partner. Whether you choose not to because you feel it would hurt your partner or because you feel that it would hurt you, you are making a choice that you want to make by remaining faithful.

When you clear out your mind and start listening to your heart you can often find your own truth regarding your ability to forgive and move forward. Most of us know right away whether we are ready to deal with infidelity. We just junk up our minds with all kinds of questions and self doubts. We stop listening to ourselves because we think we need to come up with the "right" solution.

A healthy relationship can only be defined by your own standards. Where you draw the line on healthy and unhealthy in your relationships is up to you and it is up to you to follow through on your convictions. If you feel that your relationship can survive infidelity, that is a choice only you can make. Infidelity in relationships can only be handled when you examine it from your own honest convictions.

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